It's been a long week and a half. I woke up Friday morning and couldn't move my arm because it hurt so bad. I iced it and took pain pill as much as possible, and stayed home from work. Saturday I tried to go to work, made it about an hour and realized that there was no way that I was going to make it through the night. I called someone in to help me and ran up to the ER. They took some x-rays and said that my bones looked normal, put me in a sling, and sent to me to an orto. doctor. Went to see the doctor and he daid that he thought that it wasn't anything major, and sent me to PT. Went to PT and will be for at least two weeks. I can only work for a couple hours at a time, and am on a 5 lb weight limit, but need to use my arm as much as possible.
Trying to figure out how being out of work because of an injury that has no reasonable explanation, for a family struggling to make it is even remotely part of God's plan. I know His ways are not our way, and I will never be able to truly understand what He is doing, but I really don't get it. I try to do everything right, I truly try to follow Him and these things that would be bad by them selves, but are really bad all together, just keep happening. How do you understand Gods will, what he wants when you just don't get it? I know that all the "answers"I know that I need to stay in His word, and focus in Him, it is just really hard. It may sound like a cop out but it is really hard.
Just trying to figure this whole thing out. We'll see where goes. Should be interesting...has been so far.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Relearning 12 Spiritual Disciplines Week 2: Meditation Part 2
Last week I discussed the writing of Thomas More (which I read two weeks ago), A Godly Meditation, In which I said that meditation was setting one's mind on the divine. Last weeks the readings were by Joyce Huggett. She says that meditation is being attentive to God, for the purpose of "seeing ourselves in the light of God's revealed word". We meditate on Scripture so that it can become part of us, not just part of our knowledge base. She also clearly defines what she sees as the difference between meditation, and contemplation. She says that' "Contemplation goes further and deeper than meditation. While the person meditating mutters and muses on God's word, the contemplative pays silent attention to Jesus, the living Word-the one who is central prayer." So meditation is spending time in the Word, studying it, learning it, making it apart of who we are, and contemplation is entering into the presence of Christ. She goes on to give three steps for contemplative prayer: Step one, "we need to give ourselves time to relax in God's presence." in other word we need to give up to God any distractions that would hinder our prayers. Step two, once we have relinquished everything to Him, we become aware of his presence. Step three is that "we open our hearts to His love." She goes on to say that he is there in the quiet place waiting for us, and that while there our outlook changes to become His outlook.
It seems to me that while meditation and contemplation are two separate and distinct disciplines, the one is necessary to do the other correctly. One must meditate on God's word so that we can recognize the presence of God, and one must regularly be in the presence of God to truly understand the Word of God.
This week are readings by Thomas Merton, on Contemplation.
It seems to me that while meditation and contemplation are two separate and distinct disciplines, the one is necessary to do the other correctly. One must meditate on God's word so that we can recognize the presence of God, and one must regularly be in the presence of God to truly understand the Word of God.
This week are readings by Thomas Merton, on Contemplation.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
"Correspondence with Nature"
Forgive me this is a long Quote:
"The light really began to dawn on him as he (Mr. Howells) was reading an outstanding book of that time, Professor Henry Drummond's Natural Law in the Spiritual World. Drummond was telling how he never thought it possible to give a definition of life. till he found one of the works of Hebert Spencer, who said that life is a "correspondence with nature." A child is born with five senses and various bodily organs, and each corresponds with something in his environment: the eye sees sights, the ear hears sounds, the lungs breath air, and so on. "While I can correspond with my environment, I have life," said Spencer; "but if something happened which prevented me from corresponding with my environment then I should be dead; death is a failure of correspondence."
Drummond took the definition back to Adam. The Lord told him that the day he disobeyed, he would surely die. Did he die? on Spencer's definition he died spiritually, for though he continued to have natural life, he lost his correspondence with God and could only come back to Him by way of sacrifice, the way of a victim is killed in his stead." --"Reese Howells Intercessor: The Story Of A Life Lived For God" pp 29-20
First off I want to point out that Adam and Eve did die a physical death, as well as a spiritual death, though the physical death was not immediate.
Second I have never heard it described like this before, and it is probably the most accurate analogy that I have ever heard. Jesus is the eternal sacrifice that satisfies, the requirement of a sacrifice to correspond with God.
Third, our relationship with God should be as natural as breathing, hearing, or seeing. These are natural to us we just do them, unless of course there is some deformity, that would cause us not to. In the same way we should naturally be in a relationship with God the Father through Christ and the Holy spirit. We must believe and be born of Him. For even Satan and the demons believe and tremble. I also know many people who believe that Christ is the Son of God but are unwilling to make him Lord of their life. It should be as natural a relationship as the one we have with our parents.
For as much as I "know" about Christ and the relationship I should have with him this passage in Grubb's book really made me ponder if what I have is correspondence with Him.
"The light really began to dawn on him as he (Mr. Howells) was reading an outstanding book of that time, Professor Henry Drummond's Natural Law in the Spiritual World. Drummond was telling how he never thought it possible to give a definition of life. till he found one of the works of Hebert Spencer, who said that life is a "correspondence with nature." A child is born with five senses and various bodily organs, and each corresponds with something in his environment: the eye sees sights, the ear hears sounds, the lungs breath air, and so on. "While I can correspond with my environment, I have life," said Spencer; "but if something happened which prevented me from corresponding with my environment then I should be dead; death is a failure of correspondence."
Drummond took the definition back to Adam. The Lord told him that the day he disobeyed, he would surely die. Did he die? on Spencer's definition he died spiritually, for though he continued to have natural life, he lost his correspondence with God and could only come back to Him by way of sacrifice, the way of a victim is killed in his stead." --"Reese Howells Intercessor: The Story Of A Life Lived For God" pp 29-20
First off I want to point out that Adam and Eve did die a physical death, as well as a spiritual death, though the physical death was not immediate.
Second I have never heard it described like this before, and it is probably the most accurate analogy that I have ever heard. Jesus is the eternal sacrifice that satisfies, the requirement of a sacrifice to correspond with God.
Third, our relationship with God should be as natural as breathing, hearing, or seeing. These are natural to us we just do them, unless of course there is some deformity, that would cause us not to. In the same way we should naturally be in a relationship with God the Father through Christ and the Holy spirit. We must believe and be born of Him. For even Satan and the demons believe and tremble. I also know many people who believe that Christ is the Son of God but are unwilling to make him Lord of their life. It should be as natural a relationship as the one we have with our parents.
For as much as I "know" about Christ and the relationship I should have with him this passage in Grubb's book really made me ponder if what I have is correspondence with Him.
Monday, July 11, 2011
The first three chapters
I just started reading a book the my mom recommended to me. she told me that it had a profound influance on her life. I would read pretty much any book that my mom recommends dealing with the spiritual realm, because she is the most Godly woman I know, she lives the phrase "pray without ceasing". Sh is truly a woman of God.
"Reese Howells Intercessor; The Story of a Life Lived for God" is about a man who was a missionary, born October 19, 1897. I thought is was going to be a hard read for me considering it was published in 1952 and written by an Englishman, but it has been quite pleasant so far, with many insights into the mid of the author, the subject and most importantly the mind of God. Here are some things that have struck me so far:
- Speaking of his life before he was born again (the author and it seems Mr. Howells makes it clear that in his eyes there is a difference between being a "Christian" and being born again.); "I felt I could face God every night, because I lived such a clean, pure life,..." This statement will become important in a later chapter.
-Mr Howells, was always a Church goer, he decided to move to America before he left he went to church and God spoke to him through the pastor. The author describe it this way, "It was God's overshadowing Hand again, putting an external restraint on His chosen vessel, until He revealed His Son to him..."
-Later on after he came to America, he is invited to go to a boxing match, something he enjoyed in his youth, and he refuses. The author once again refers to the restraining hand.
-"Living and upright life like that, how could God bring him to the realization that he was born in sin and needed to be saved?"
-"...until there is conviction of need, there can be no desire for a change. But God has His ways!"
-there is a five chapter discourse comparing the correspondence of the five sense to nature, to correspondence, which I am still in the process of digesting mentally.
There are some things in the book that are question marks for me, for instance the author and indeed HOwell's refers to "seeing Calvary" when talking about conversions experiences. Not sure exactly how I feel about that. So far I have seen theological elements of Calvanmism, and mild undertones of the Charismatic movement in the book. Almost every paragraph makes you think, about what you are reading. It is very deep spiritually, and I can't wait to "wade in" as it were.
"Reese Howells Intercessor; The Story of a Life Lived for God" is about a man who was a missionary, born October 19, 1897. I thought is was going to be a hard read for me considering it was published in 1952 and written by an Englishman, but it has been quite pleasant so far, with many insights into the mid of the author, the subject and most importantly the mind of God. Here are some things that have struck me so far:
- Speaking of his life before he was born again (the author and it seems Mr. Howells makes it clear that in his eyes there is a difference between being a "Christian" and being born again.); "I felt I could face God every night, because I lived such a clean, pure life,..." This statement will become important in a later chapter.
-Mr Howells, was always a Church goer, he decided to move to America before he left he went to church and God spoke to him through the pastor. The author describe it this way, "It was God's overshadowing Hand again, putting an external restraint on His chosen vessel, until He revealed His Son to him..."
-Later on after he came to America, he is invited to go to a boxing match, something he enjoyed in his youth, and he refuses. The author once again refers to the restraining hand.
-"Living and upright life like that, how could God bring him to the realization that he was born in sin and needed to be saved?"
-"...until there is conviction of need, there can be no desire for a change. But God has His ways!"
-there is a five chapter discourse comparing the correspondence of the five sense to nature, to correspondence, which I am still in the process of digesting mentally.
There are some things in the book that are question marks for me, for instance the author and indeed HOwell's refers to "seeing Calvary" when talking about conversions experiences. Not sure exactly how I feel about that. So far I have seen theological elements of Calvanmism, and mild undertones of the Charismatic movement in the book. Almost every paragraph makes you think, about what you are reading. It is very deep spiritually, and I can't wait to "wade in" as it were.
Relearning 12 Spiritual Disciplines Week 1: Meditation
I started working on a new Bible study last week, "Spiritual Classics, Selected Readings for Individuals and Groups on the Twelve Spiritual DIsciplines", long title I know, but I have been in a place over the last couple of years where I haven't been very consistent in practicing any spiritual discipline. The first discipline is Meditation, now os all the topics in the book meditation is the one that I could never quite wrap my head around. I just don't really get how to do it. I looked up the definition of meditation, Webster's define's is as the act of meditating. This is their definition for meditate: to engage in contemplation or reflection; to focus ones thoughts on: reflect on, ponder over. I understand the concept os meditation, I just have a really hard time doing it. I thinks its because I'm dyslexic. From the the time I was really young I have always used association to compensate. I have learned to think in patterns, and associations. In turn thinking about one thing has always been difficult, because when I am thinking about something I will automatically associate it with something else and move on to that. With that in Mind I start my study on the discipline meditation, hoping to learn how to do it correctly and consistently.
The first reading in the book was by Thomas More. It is just a meditation the he wrote down. The first couple lines are :
Give me thy grace, good Lord,
To set the world at naught,
To set my mind fast upon thee.
That in essence is what spiritual meditation is, setting your mind on the divine things and not on the worldly. Sounds simple right, but how do you do it? That is what I intend to find out over the next three weeks. This weeks reading is by Joyce Hugett, expounding on the importance of meditation ad how to meditate.
The first reading in the book was by Thomas More. It is just a meditation the he wrote down. The first couple lines are :
Give me thy grace, good Lord,
To set the world at naught,
To set my mind fast upon thee.
That in essence is what spiritual meditation is, setting your mind on the divine things and not on the worldly. Sounds simple right, but how do you do it? That is what I intend to find out over the next three weeks. This weeks reading is by Joyce Hugett, expounding on the importance of meditation ad how to meditate.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Rob Bell Part 2
I just want to say something to people who think that not reading one of Rob Bells books means that I may have a different opinion of him. My opinion of him was pretty much solidified after reading. Velvet Elvis, this new book just furthers my opinion of the man. When he says "This love compels us to question some of the dominate stories that are being told as the Jesus story. A staggering number of people have been taught that a select few Christians will spend forever in a peaceful, joyous place called heaven, while the rest of humanity spend forever in torment and punishment in hell with no chance for anything better. It has clearly been communicated to many that this belief is a central truth to the Christian faith and to reject it, is in essence, to reject Jesus. This is misguided and toxic and ultimately subverts the contagious spread of Jesus message of love, peace, forgiveness, and joy that our world desperately need to hear." Those are his own words people. Now as I read and study the Bible as a whole it is pretty clear that a "select" few will enter heaven while the rest of humanity will spent the rest of eternity in torment.
One other thing that he says that I am in total disagreement with is "I believe the discussion itself is divine." Discussion or debate for the sake of it is a usles endeavor, there has to be an end game. A point you get to that closes the discussion. This may not be possible in the Church as a whole but personally there must (sometimes after much intellectual and spiritual struggle) be a answer to the questions of faith. I myself have struggled with and sometimes still struggle with how a loving God can leave people to eternal punishment. I always come back to the same conclusion: God is loving, but he is also just and righteous, A just and righteous God must punish humanity for it's sins, but this God has also prepared a road to grace, the death and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. John 3:16-21 explains the entire process, these are the words of Christ.
Just one more note I am a proud Calvinist. This discussion has truly made me more of a one and is teaching me to defend what I believe. While I disagree with Rob Bell on a lot (not all) of what he says, he has opened the Christian debate up to many non Christians and offered many in roads that were not previously there for Christians.
One other thing that he says that I am in total disagreement with is "I believe the discussion itself is divine." Discussion or debate for the sake of it is a usles endeavor, there has to be an end game. A point you get to that closes the discussion. This may not be possible in the Church as a whole but personally there must (sometimes after much intellectual and spiritual struggle) be a answer to the questions of faith. I myself have struggled with and sometimes still struggle with how a loving God can leave people to eternal punishment. I always come back to the same conclusion: God is loving, but he is also just and righteous, A just and righteous God must punish humanity for it's sins, but this God has also prepared a road to grace, the death and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. John 3:16-21 explains the entire process, these are the words of Christ.
Just one more note I am a proud Calvinist. This discussion has truly made me more of a one and is teaching me to defend what I believe. While I disagree with Rob Bell on a lot (not all) of what he says, he has opened the Christian debate up to many non Christians and offered many in roads that were not previously there for Christians.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Theology
I keep running across things that Rob Bell and others like him say, and it bugs me. I was having a hard time figuring out why is bugged me so much, until just now I realized why is bugs me so much. It's my theology, I know what I believe. For the most part, and I have struggled through a lot of the "tough" questions of Christianity. Here's what I have so Far:
-There is one triune God; God the father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit
-God the Father sent his only Son to Earth to be to die and rise again to defeat death and satan once and for all, and that all who believe in Him are saved through grace, and not of works
-Through Jesus is the ONLY way to have a relationship the Father, and to eternal life
-God alone is sovereign
-The Holy Spirit indwells all who believe
-The Bible is the inspired (by the Holy Spirit) inherent word of God
-There is an eternity either with God, heaven, or without God, hell
-We see God through our existence and not as he fully is (this does not mean however the knowledge os his character given to us in the Bible is in any way false or untrue, or that it is impossible to know God on a personal level, only that we have an incomplete understanding of Him. Scripture acknowledges this.)
Now there is a lot more to my theology than what is listed here, but I think for the most part I have listed the major points. There are some points of my theology that I am willing to debate, but there are also points that are nonnegotiable. For a leader of a body of believers to "spark debate" without leading that debate to it's conclusion is irresponsible. The point of asking questions, and debating should not be to tear each other down or to change someone's mind, but to truly seek God and learn from the opinions of others. A leader should be leading people to the answers not just throwing the questions out there.
There is more I could say, about this, but I far I am already rambling. There is one more thing I need to take care of. There are a few men of God that helped me through the early years of forming my theology into coherent thought:
Dr. Rushing
Professor Webb
Dr. Nebeker
Hudson Shires
John Write
These men spent time teaching and discussing the Bible and theology with me. I am almost positive that I am not in total agreement with any of them, but they taught me how to look at the Bible and theology in a systematic and rational way.
-There is one triune God; God the father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit
-God the Father sent his only Son to Earth to be to die and rise again to defeat death and satan once and for all, and that all who believe in Him are saved through grace, and not of works
-Through Jesus is the ONLY way to have a relationship the Father, and to eternal life
-God alone is sovereign
-The Holy Spirit indwells all who believe
-The Bible is the inspired (by the Holy Spirit) inherent word of God
-There is an eternity either with God, heaven, or without God, hell
-We see God through our existence and not as he fully is (this does not mean however the knowledge os his character given to us in the Bible is in any way false or untrue, or that it is impossible to know God on a personal level, only that we have an incomplete understanding of Him. Scripture acknowledges this.)
Now there is a lot more to my theology than what is listed here, but I think for the most part I have listed the major points. There are some points of my theology that I am willing to debate, but there are also points that are nonnegotiable. For a leader of a body of believers to "spark debate" without leading that debate to it's conclusion is irresponsible. The point of asking questions, and debating should not be to tear each other down or to change someone's mind, but to truly seek God and learn from the opinions of others. A leader should be leading people to the answers not just throwing the questions out there.
There is more I could say, about this, but I far I am already rambling. There is one more thing I need to take care of. There are a few men of God that helped me through the early years of forming my theology into coherent thought:
Dr. Rushing
Professor Webb
Dr. Nebeker
Hudson Shires
John Write
These men spent time teaching and discussing the Bible and theology with me. I am almost positive that I am not in total agreement with any of them, but they taught me how to look at the Bible and theology in a systematic and rational way.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Rob Bell
What is the deal with Rob Bell? Seriously, I mean all that I have heard about this guy is that he is misguided in his teachings. I don't get it, he asks how a loving God can send someone to hell. The answer is simple... a loving God can send someone to hell because he is not just a loving God, but also just and righteous. Which means that Sin deserves to be punished. The entire thing reminds me of a book I had to read for a theology class called "Your God is Too Small". Well Rob Bell-your god is too small. God is Love but he is so much more. He is just, and mercy, and wrath, and righteous. He is all of these things infinitely, he is all of these things and more in perfection. (this isn't a perfect analogy) It's like we see God through a prism. We see all the different colors, or attributes of God, broken down and individually, but they are distorted because we see them through the prism of our existence and not what they truly are. They are all perfect in one triune-God.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Life as I know it...
It has been a long 4 months, well more like 7, but Emry has been a champ, and so has Charlie, she loves her little brother more than we knew, today she sat by his bassinet and held his hand for a couple of minutes. It was so cute. Katie is starting to go full steam ahead with On The Fly. She is really hyped up, and wants to do this right. We both know it's a lot of work but if she''s willing I am more than willing to support her in her endeavor in any way that I can. I have been working and taking care of the kids. I am always exhausted. If any of you have ever had a child that has been sick for an extended period of time you understand. Side note: I am sick of people telling that it's what parents go through....excuse me but I know all parents of young kids are tired, but not all parents have to wake up in the middle of the nigh to feed their child or take almost 2 hours to feed and clean up after feedings...so not every parent knows what we are going through. I know some have it worse than Katie and I do and I pray that God gives them the strength to do what they need to do. Sorry about the rant! I am struggling with balancing my spiritual life with my family life and work life. It seems that my spiritual life gets pushed to the side because I am taking care of Emry or Charlie or both, and hen I have to go to work, than I come home and feed Emry and try to sleep. Katie is amazing; she takes car of Charlie and Emry while I'm at work and lets me sleep in while she gets Charlie up and breakfast. I really try to balance my life it just seems so hard with everything that has happened with Emry. I was doing good with just Charlie and until Emry started to get really sick, but now... It seems like something always has to give. It can't be taking care of my family, and I don;t know how to let it be my job so, it's God. That sounds so horrible, I know. I just truly don't know what else to do. I cling to the hope that God will pull us through and yet, I walk away. This is my struggle, to follow God and do everything else. I think of pastors and missionaries who have to be rooted in the Word as part of their job, their ministry, and at times like this I almost wish I was in full time ministry. Instead I go to work at the hospital and spend eight hour trying to figure out a way to pay the bills and keep Emry healthy. So that's it that's where I'm at right now, nothing like bashing your head against a brick wall (figuratively).
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart...." I know I've done it before, I just can't figure t out right now, in this situation.
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