Life as I know it...

It has been a long 4 months, well more like 7, but Emry has been a champ, and so has Charlie, she loves her little brother more than we knew, today she sat by his bassinet and held his hand for a couple of minutes.  It was so cute.  Katie is starting to go full steam ahead with On The Fly.  She is really hyped up, and wants to do this right.  We both know it's a lot of work but if she''s willing I am more than willing to support her in her endeavor in any way that I can.  I have been working and taking care of the kids.  I am always exhausted.  If any of you have ever had a child that has been sick for an extended period of time you understand.  Side note:  I am sick of people telling that it's what parents go through....excuse me but I know all parents of young kids are tired, but not all parents have to wake up in the middle of the nigh to feed their child or take almost 2 hours to feed and clean up after feedings...so not every parent knows what we are going through.  I know some have it worse than Katie and I do and I pray that God gives them the strength to do what they need to do.  Sorry about the rant!  I am struggling with balancing my spiritual life with my family life and work life.  It seems that my spiritual life gets pushed to the side because I am taking care of Emry or Charlie or both, and hen I have to go to work, than I come home and feed Emry and try to sleep.  Katie is amazing; she takes car of Charlie and Emry while I'm at work and lets me sleep in while she gets Charlie up and breakfast.  I really try to balance my life it just seems so hard with everything that has happened with Emry.  I was doing good with just Charlie and until Emry started to get really sick, but now...  It seems like something always has to give.  It can't be taking care of my family, and I don;t know how to let it be my job so, it's God.  That sounds so horrible, I know.  I just truly don't know what else to do.  I cling to the hope that God will pull us through and yet, I walk away.  This is my struggle, to follow God and do everything else.  I think of pastors and missionaries who have to be rooted in the Word as part of their job, their ministry, and at times like this I almost wish I was in full time ministry.  Instead I go to work at the hospital and spend eight hour trying to figure out a way to pay the bills and keep Emry healthy.  So that's it that's where I'm at right now, nothing like bashing your head against a brick wall (figuratively).

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart...."  I know I've done it before, I just can't figure t out right now, in this situation.